How to Stop Being Jealous and Learn to Feel More Secure
Life Coaching

How to Stop Being Jealous and Learn to Feel More Secure

Have you ever been with someone that didn’t cheat on you or hurt you and you had no reason to question their loyalty yet every time they talk to someone or text someone you get a bit jealous? Jealousy is okay if there is a hint of it but when it becomes a bigger part of the relationship it becomes a problem.

If you are someone that has a hard time getting past the feelings of jealousy, you have to learn ways to let this kind of emotion slide before you ruin your relationship for good.

Healthy relationships have to be built on trust and on respect and if you do not have this, jealousy can come in and it can cause the love that you have for someone to be negative. It can cause you to become possessive of your partner and to be dependent on them. It is not healthy to be in a relationship like this and eventually it will become sour.

There are normally things that happen that cause jealousy and this can be low self-esteem or insecurity or not feeling worthy. You have to learn to deal with these problems head on so that you can get over being jealous.

The biggest thing in life is that most people don’t know how to get over being jealous. There is always that emotion, but you have to be honest with what is going on inside of you to move forward.


Being jealous means that you have some underlying insecurities like self-esteem issues. Chances are that you compare yourself to others and that you are fearful of someone rejecting you. Face this fear head on and learn to be positive in your relationship.

If your partner says they like something about you, accept it and choose to be who you are instead of always comparing yourself to others. If you have a certain person you are jealous of, block them off of your social media and then you won’t have them to compare yourself to.

Trust Issues

Figure out where your trust issues come from. Were you insecure as a child and you have behaved like this for that reason? Before you talk to your partner, learn to be accountable for what you do and your own behavior. Address past issues and figure out where the jealousy is coming from.


You will find other people attractive sometimes and if your partner is not openly flirting, you don’t have to worry about this. Remember that you cannot control how someone feels or what they think but if this becomes a problem, you need to be honest with your partner and have compassion for each other. Do not try to control them though.

Rubber Band Technique

Wear a rubber band on your wrist and when you start to feel jealous, snap yourself. Doing this can remind you that you are acting irrational. This gives you a chance to get your emotions in control and think about what is going on.

Open and Honest

Be open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling. Talk to them and tell them what is going on. Even if you have to say it over and over again and feel like a broken record, do it. Share what you are feeling with your partner so that you can have boundaries.

Talk to Someone

Find a friend or a therapist to talk to if your jealousy is out of control. Find out why you are jealous and get someone that you can vent to.

Having a therapist to support you can help you not to feel alone or stuck in your feelings and can reward you for allowing healing in your life.


The thankful for the relationship that you have, and you will focus more on that than negative things. Think about all the good things your partner does for you and what he does to make you happy. This can show you that you have no reason to be jealous.

How Its Affecting You

Think about how the jealousy is affecting you and work through it. If you are always upset or trying to fight with them then you need to work this out. You have to let go of the jealousy and move forward.

No matter how you manage your feelings, it is your job to do it and not your partners job to make you feel differently.

Write it Down

Write down the things that happen that make these feelings come up and then talk to your partner. Ask yourself if you are being irrational about things. Are you bringing up past relationships or past feelings?

Focus on the Good

Focus on the good parts of your relationship instead of bad things. Free the relationship and let it be good. Place your focus on things that your partner does that makes you happy and feel good enough.

Stop Holding It

Stop holding on to jealousy unless you have a real reason. Is your partner cheating on you? If not, you have no reason to be jealous. Learn to boost your self-esteem and become more confident in who you are.

Instead of being upset and jealous, take time to work through these emotions. Learn to get rid of these feelings and do not let them control you.

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