What Men Mean When They Compliment Women
Today’s post begins with something amusing I experienced recently. I was hanging out with a woman when I looked at her and sincerely told her, “You know, I think you look really sexy today.”
She was immediately flustered and replied, “Well, I’m not, though. I’ve got this thing going on with my left eye, and my hair isn’t quite how it should to be. And I feel about five pounds fatter today, for some reason.”
I thought it was amusing until I started to think about how many times I’ve given women a compliment, only to hear her come back with the excuse, “but I’m really not.”
When someone gives you a compliment, just go with it. Go with the good feelings it brings up, and go with the vulnerability that goes along with it.
Because the moment you disagree with what the person said, you’re really saying to the person, “I ’m not able to take compliments when I really should.”
Compliments are beautiful. But when we receive one, human nature usually kicks in, making us feel like we need to defend ourselves against it, instead of just accepting it and saying “thank you.” We feel like we have to rationalize it, or disagree with it, or to say that we really aren’t that just now.
When someone says to you, “You know, you look absolutely stunning. Yes, that’s right, you. You are stunning and beautiful,” instead of replying, “No, not little old me,” look back at the person and tell them, “Thank you.” Because when men compliment women, it’s their way of becoming more vulnerable with women. When he says you’re beautiful, he’s opening up to you.
What He Really Means
This should help you understand men better. When a man compliments you by telling you that you’re sexy, he’s experiencing a feeling about you in the moment. He’s feeling emotions about you. He’s expressing to you the way that he feels about you. He wants to draw closer to you in the moment.
For most men, it isn’t easy to give a woman a compliment. As a matter of fact, most men are challenged at giving compliments.
In my life coaching lessons with men, there’s a compliments session we do. I actually send guys out to give compliments—real, authentic compliments—to women they randomly meet out on the street. The guys go out and give a compliment to the first woman they see. This helps them learn how to get over their hang-ups. It can be a difficult challenge.
So when a man says to you from his heart, “You’re beautiful,” accept it. Because he’s trying to get closer to you. He’s trying to show you a side of him, a real side, a vulnerable side. Yes, that side you desire and crave. The side you really want him to show you.
But every time you reject compliments and shoot him down, he’s left to think to himself, “Well, that’s okay. I just won’t give her any more compliments. I won’t go down that road at all anymore. I’ll just talk to her about the weather and other mundane things.”
Understanding the True Meaning of Compliments
The real meaning behind men’s compliments is that he’s trying to get closer to you. He’s trying to be more open with you, and he’s trying to open you up, so you can go somewhere new and different together, just the two of you. He isn’t looking to receive a compliment in return (though that can help sometimes!). Don’t say something back unless you mean it.
We’re always trying to find ways to express how we feel, and this is one way for a men to do that. Men feel things on a visual level first, before they feel things on an emotional level. He’s complimenting you to try to get in touch with you. He wants to get closer to you.
Let’s say you’ve been dating a man. You’ve known him for a while, you’ve been hanging out together, getting to know each other better. And every time he sees you after you’ve been apart for a bit, he looks at you and says, “You’re so hot!” or “You’re so sexy!” or “You look amazing!” or “You smell so good!” means that he likes you, and he’s starting to tell you that with his own words.
Because if he tells you you’re hot every single time you see him again, it means you’re truly getting hotter to him. He’s beginning to think, “Maybe I should spend more time with this girl. Maybe I really like her. Maybe I want to be with this girl long-term. Maybe we can have a future together.” That’s what men are doing when they begin to open up. They open up at the physical level first.
Just a side note: this has nothing to do with a compliment from some random guy you’ve never seen or met before. This is all about the man you’ve been dating for a while now, who you’ve been seeing a bit, and you’ve both realized that you like each other.
He’s making the effort to open up to you. He’s showing you a different side of himself, trying to go to a deeper level in a conversation. He’s trying to get to know you in a deeper way.
I hope you found this helpful! Let me know in the comments section.
The discussion surrounding the reception of compliments is quite thought-provoking. It’s interesting how societal norms can dictate our responses to kind words. Often, we feel compelled to downplay or dismiss compliments, perhaps as a defense mechanism against vulnerability. It raises questions about self-perception and the barriers we construct in interpersonal communication. Accepting compliments gracefully could foster deeper connections and enhance emotional intimacy. This article highlights the importance of recognizing the intention behind a compliment—it’s not merely flattery but an attempt at connection. I would be curious to see more studies on how different cultures perceive and respond to compliments.
‘Understanding the True Meaning of Compliments’ touches upon critical aspects of human interaction—particularly those associated with emotional intelligence! The idea that giving a compliment is inherently tied up with one’s vulnerabilities illuminates so much about our shared human experience! If we could all strive toward authentic acceptance—not merely transactional exchanges—it may pave avenues toward richer relationships characterized by mutual respect and appreciation rather than superficial acknowledgment alone! What are your thoughts on implementing workshops focusing specifically on improving skills related directly to giving/receiving compliments?
One cannot overlook the intricate dance involved in compliment exchanges as highlighted in this article. Compliments serve not just as affirmations of physical appearance but also as invitations for emotional closeness, a nuanced sentiment that often gets lost amidst societal expectations of modesty. It is imperative for both men and women to cultivate an awareness of this dynamic; men should feel empowered to express their admiration without fear of rejection, while women should strive to receive these expressions with grace rather than self-doubt. Acknowledging the sincerity behind a compliment can deepen relational intimacy significantly.
Indeed, RenaissanceSoul, your insight sheds light on an often overlooked aspect of communication in romantic relationships. The reluctance to accept compliments could be indicative of broader issues related to body image and self-worth that affect many individuals today. Addressing these underlying concerns might not only improve how one receives compliments but also enrich personal confidence overall. Moreover, engaging in open discussions about such topics could help demystify them for others who struggle with similar feelings.
‘What He Really Means’ serves as an insightful reminder that verbal acknowledgments are often layered with deeper implications about desire and connection beyond mere physicality! While understanding motives is essential within relationship dynamics—perhaps we should also explore non-verbal cues accompanying verbal expressions? Body language plays a substantial role here; integrating these concepts may create further clarity around intent while enhancing overall engagement between partners during moments requiring affirmation!
While I appreciate the sentiment expressed in this article regarding the acceptance of compliments, I believe it’s crucial to consider individual differences in personality and cultural background when discussing vulnerability in communication. Not everyone feels comfortable receiving praise due to varying levels of self-esteem or past experiences that may color their perceptions negatively towards themselves or others’ intentions. Therefore, while it is commendable for one party—often men—to express admiration openly, it’s equally important for both parties involved to navigate this terrain sensitively based on their unique backgrounds.
‘Vulnerability’ is indeed a complex topic when intertwined with social interactions like compliment-giving and receiving! It’s fascinating how cultural norms shape our responses—not just towards receiving praise but also regarding our perceived worthiness of such acknowledgments from others. By highlighting these nuances, the article encourages readers to reflect on their internal narratives surrounding beauty and value within relationships—and perhaps even challenge ingrained patterns that hinder authentic connection through appreciation! A more open dialogue around accepting positivity could certainly benefit interpersonal dynamics.
This article elegantly captures a common social dynamic that many experience but few articulate. The juxtaposition between giving and receiving compliments speaks volumes about human psychology, particularly around self-esteem and vulnerability. It’s often easier for people to express positive sentiments toward others than it is to accept those sentiments without qualification or doubt. This phenomenon may stem from societal pressures or ingrained beliefs about modesty and humility. Encouraging individuals to embrace compliments could lead to healthier interactions and greater emotional well-being, especially in romantic contexts where such affirmations can pave the way for deeper emotional bonds.