“Ugh, he’s gone silent on me. What does that mean?”
Do you know what men really love about women?
You always want the answers. When a man goes silent on you, stops calling, or isn’t talking openly to you, you whip out your detective hat and set out on a quest for the answers you seek.
“Nope, nothing so far. I know! I’ll speculate and try to figure it out that way!”
Do you know what men really don’t love about women?
Your speculation drives everyone crazy! So the man stopped calling. You spend the next three weeks trying to figure out why he went quiet. You dissect each moment that you spent together and try to discern what it was that you possibly could have done wrong.
Maybe he doesn’t like your dog. Maybe it was something you said. Maybe it was the text you sent him at 6 a.m. on New Year’s Day. Nothing? Okay, on to his social media feeds to see where he’s been and what he’s up to. Maybe you’ll pick up on a clue to what he’s thinking about on there.
Stop wasting time on a guy who doesn’t deserve the attention your giving. You could miss out on opportunities with men who actually do deserve your attention. Face it: it’s over. He’s lost interest. He hasn’t told you why. I don’t know why. There’s no answer. Sometimes it ends and you just need to be okay with it. Sometimes you won’t get the closure you want.
Closure is especially important to women. If I was able to get every man to agree to give women the answers they seek, I’d do it. You all would feel better, and you could stop wasting time speculating about why relationships didn’t work out.
Frankly, there are just some men who are wusses. Some of them don’t care enough about other people to tell them the truth. If all of us were honest with each other, dating (and so many other things in life!) would be much easier, and people wouldn’t get so hurt and messed up.
So if a man goes dark on you, and you haven’t heard from him for a week, give up. Stop calling him. It’s over and done. You’ll never get the answers you want. And don’t blame yourself. Perhaps there wasn’t enough chemistry. Maybe he felt he couldn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. Maybe he’s looking for something different. Maybe you’ll never know.
The communication patterns and skills you show at the start of the relationship could lead you to speculation at the end. Take a good look at your communication as a couple at the start. Were you being open with each other? Were your expectations realistic? Did you put too much pressure on each other? Start thinking about things like this, and figure out the things you really need to work on.
When you’re honest with people, tell them you expect the same from them. This will leave no room for speculation. When relationships end, the writing is usually on the wall. Don’t let a man go cold at the end of a relationship. Take back control of your life right away. You’ll never get that time back. Don’t waste it on somebody who doesn’t deserve it.