So you’re attracted to a guy that you see all the time. Whenever you see him, he’s out with his friends, just having a great time and laughing at everything and nothing. But whenever you start talking to him, he gets nervous and fidgety.
You have to understand something about him, and about guys in general. You think guys are calm, cool, confident, and collected. And the truth is, you’re mostly right. So if he’s nervous when you’re around him, he’s probably interested in you.
I always tell women to just look at his overall personality.
Often when women are attracted to guys who act friendly and confident with their friends but nervous and fidgety around them, they likely interprets the seemingly stark change in the guy’s behavior as a sign that he isn’t interested in her. She interprets his nervousness and restlessness as purposeful unfriendliness towards her.
But in reality, the guy is acting differently because he’s interested in you. The evidence is that he can’t act like himself when you’re around. Watch how he acts and then think things through a bit.
The moment you stop talking to him, he goes back to hanging out with his friends and immediately reverts back into that confident guy. Then you see him talk to a woman he obviously isn’t attracted to, and he’s able to remain confident. He talks to the waitress, and still appears confident.
But the moment he begins talking to you, he gets really nervous. He puts his hands in his pockets. He might even start to rock back and forth and fidget a little bit.
So what can you do? How can you move things forward? You’re going to have to work at it a bit to bring him out of it. If you feel up to taking a direct approach, you could come right out and ask him, “Do I make you feel nervous?”
You could also try to be a calming influence by just ask him simple questions about non-threatening things. When he’s comfortably in a conversation with you, you can maybe try to go deeper and ask him follow-up questions about some of the things he says. Help him relax a little bit. Laugh at his jokes. Make him feel comfortable with you.
Life is all about energy. Whatever energy somebody brings into a situation can affect the energy dynamic of the other people. So if the guy feels nervous, it can make you feel nervous too, and the two of you will be left with nothing but feeling nervous together.
So if you like the guy, or you think you could like him, it might just be up to you to be the calming energy in your interaction to calm him down and draw him out.
Too often women wait for the guy to come to them. They sit back hoping for he goes all Brad Pitt or George Clooney on them. But reality is that sometimes you’re just going to have to bring it out of them. It’s just the way life is.
Embrace that you’re the one who controls your dating life. I’m just here to help!